Are you ready for your letter-writing ministry to lead to personal growth and character development? Let’s find out how that’s possible!
A ministry for everyone that can reach anyone.
If the letter-writing ministry had a tagline, this would be it. It communicates the two things I love about this work the most: anyone can do it (it doesn’t matter where you are writing from or what age you are; no professional experience or university credentials are necessary here. The only requirements are a pen and paper) and it can reach anyone (from prisons in Florida and sponsored children in Peru’s mountain villages to house churches in persecuted countries and local seniors, my letters have reached places I could not and have been received by people I will never have the opportunity to meet face-to-face).
Many people in the church have the heart and desire to reach, serve, and encourage other people while having physical limitations, busy and unpredictable schedules, being introverts, or having social anxiety. This is where the ministry of letter-writing truly shines. You don’t need much to get started; you can do it from anywhere, and you never have to meet anyone face to face if you don’t want to.
Whatever draws you to this work and however you want to do it, over time it will not leave you unchanged. If you think this chapter is about character requirements needed before getting started, I’m happy to say that you’re wrong! This chapter is about how you will see your character being gently formed through this act of service. It’s an important reminder as you get started because this is how you will directly benefit from caring for others in this way. Rarely will you receive a response to a letter, and there is little recognition for doing this kind of work, but what you do gain is personal growth that will slowly transform you closer to the likeness of Christ.
This kind of character growth and inner transformation will also shape the way you write over time (an encouraging thought if you’re feeling a little unequipped to start!) Character is what shapes every sentence before the pen ever touches the paper. It influences the tone of our words, determines whether our encouragement is sincere, and reminds us to serve without seeking recognition.
As we have covered in my previous essays, letter writing is more than an activity; it is a ministry. Like every ministry, its effectiveness depends not only on what we do and how we do it, but on who we are becoming. The goal is not simply to write more letters. The goal is to become people whose lives consistently reflect the love of Christ.
These are the often overlooked benefits of ministry of any kind. It can be easy to choose roles and work that place us on a stage, give us a name tag or title and a shout-out on the website. But how often do we choose roles or acts of service because of the ways in which the work itself will transform us to be more like Christ? Consider the work of a children’s ministry volunteer at your church: the second you hear a call for volunteers, you are probably asking yourself if working with children is something you’re naturally good at or even slightly interested in, rather than if this work is a great opportunity for growing in patience and kindness, as well as expanding your heart for children to be more like Jesus (who really loved the children! Matthew 19:14)
Don’t get me wrong, I am guilty of it all. Quickly have I jumped at the opportunity to preach before the church on a Sunday morning, and slowly have I committed to providing a snack at our weekly moms group. Both works glorify God and can grow and stretch us in unexpected ways. What I am seeking to focus on is our motives in picking and choosing one role over another, and how little attention we can pay to the spiritual growth and personal transformation aspect of it.
So, what kind of growth and transformation am I talking about specifically? Let’s get into it! Consider the following with me for a simple ministry faithfully done…
Integrity: Writing What Is True
Encouragement should never require exaggeration. Sometimes we may be tempted to write compliments that sound impressive but are not entirely genuine. People often recognize insincerity, and integrity calls us to speak truth lovingly (Ephesians 4:15).
Swap searching for dramatic praise with looking for authentic observations. Perhaps someone has remained faithful during difficult circumstances, or they consistently welcome newcomers. These truths are worth celebrating. Integrity also means keeping our promises. If we tell someone we will pray for them, we should do so. If we say we will write again, we should make every effort to follow through. Our letters should reflect dependable character.
Humility: Making Others the Focus
One subtle temptation in any ministry is allowing ourselves to become the center of attention, and letter writing is no exception. Sometimes we unintentionally write more about ourselves than the recipient. We describe our experiences, our opinions, or our accomplishments. This can be easy to slip into, as we know far more about ourselves than the stranger we are writing to!
While sharing personal stories can build connection, humility reminds us that the letter exists primarily to encourage someone else. Before sealing an envelope, ask yourself: “Does this letter point toward the person receiving it or toward me?” The answer often reveals the posture of our hearts. Jesus consistently placed the needs of others before His own. As His followers, we seek to do the same.
One approach I take to keeping the focus on the other person is that I usually share only in response to what the other person is writing about. This helps keep my own stories and opinions relevant to what the other is experiencing. Sometimes a redirection of the conversation has been helpful to uplift morale or move us to healthier topics, but I always try to connect it back to what they were previously sharing so that the change in topic doesn’t come across as dismissive. Discernment is needed, but thankfully God gives wisdom to those who ask! (James 1:5).
Compassion with Boundaries
Compassion invites us to care deeply, while wisdom reminds us to care wisely.
Letter writers occasionally encounter situations involving profound grief, trauma, or emotional distress. It is important to remember that we are encouragers, not counsellors (unless, of course, we are specifically trained in that role. But even then, that might not be the role they are asking you to step into.)
Our responsibility is to offer kindness, hope, and presence, not to diagnose problems or provide professional advice beyond our expertise. Instead, you could choose to recommend relevant resources or share encouraging scripture that speaks to their challenges. Healthy boundaries protect both the writer and the recipient.
Sometimes the most compassionate response is simply: “I’m praying for you” or “I hope you have caring people walking beside you.” These simple statements communicate love without assuming responsibilities we cannot fulfill.
[In a recent conversation with a friend who has over 20 years of counselling experience, we talked about how other people sharing their personal struggles can sometimes trigger us in unexpected ways. It’s helpful to have some resources or close friends in your own back pocket that you can turn to in the event that you need care or support yourself.
In later essays, we will discuss inviting others to a letter-writing night. On the topic of potential triggers, consider those whom you invite into such a ministry, especially if your letter-writing nights are themed, as these are potential triggers that are more easily anticipated. For example, writing cards for women who find Mother’s Day challenging can also be challenging for fellow letter-writers who are facing the same issues. Some individuals who shouldn’t be invited to such a night may be obvious, but others less so. Having a list of helpful resources or programs handy for anyone who may care and support is good for everyone. Alternatively, planning a self-care factor into such an evening can help counterbalance any heaviness that people experience. This is where being selective in who you invite to participate in letter-writing is helpful, but more on that later!]
Respecting Confidentiality
The longer you write, the more people may entrust you with personal stories. They may share health concerns, family struggles, financial hardship, or private prayer requests. These stories are gifts of trust, so it’s important that we treat them carefully. Unless someone has given explicit permission, avoid sharing their circumstances with others casually.
Even well-intentioned conversations can unintentionally violate confidence. A trustworthy letter writer becomes known not only for encouraging words but also for careful stewardship of another person’s story. Confidentiality builds trust, which is essential to a personal ministry of this kind. Consider, especially if you are letter-writing in community, how holding confidences and trust witnesses to those you write alongside. Over the years, I’ve experienced many deep and personal sharing moments with those I write alongside during my letter-writing nights. The intimacy of writing personal letters around the kitchen table leads to intimate conversations. If those you write alongside see you gossip or share others’ personal information carelessly, it will prevent them from sharing themselves openly. This kind of carelessness can prevent the ministry of encouragement that starts at the table long before any letter reaches the mailbox!
Patience in the Process
One of the challenges of encouragement is that we seldom see immediate results.
Perhaps we don’t receive the expected response, or maybe the person we are writing with is hesitant to share, and so the relationship takes a lot longer to develop. Even building connections with organizations and community groups takes time. We know from the Fruits of the Spirit, found in Galatians 5:22-23, that patience is necessary in all areas of life. If we begin to struggle with patience, we must ask God, who gives generously and calls us to be faithful even when (and sometimes, especially when) we can’t see the desired result.
As cliché as it may sound, in times like these, I like to reflect on how far I’ve come, the progress that was made, and count the blessings and answers to prayer that I have already experienced.
In later essays, we will cover the topic of sustainability in this ministry, mainly how to deal with discouragement when we rarely see results. Patience is a huge part of it and one we will all struggle with.
A Teachable Spirit
No one begins as a perfect letter writer. Every encouraging letter becomes an opportunity to learn. Perhaps someone thanks you for remembering a specific detail, or perhaps you later realize one sentence could have been phrased more gently. Rather than becoming discouraged, remain teachable. Growth is part of life!
What’s helpful in encouraging this kind of growth is to read books, especially those that contain letters written by others, observe gifted encouragers, and ask trusted friends for feedback. Most importantly, continue asking God to shape your heart. As your character grows, so will your ability to encourage others.
Joy in Serving
Ministry should never become a burden we reluctantly carry, but instead, it should be a joyful response to God’s love. There will certainly be days when writing requires discipline, especially when schedules become busy, or energy feels limited. Even then, remember why you began. If your memory is fuzzy, ask God to remind you why he called you to this work and to bring you renewed joy.
Every envelope represents a person, every address belongs to someone made in God’s image, and every letter carries the possibility of brightening someone’s day. Keeping that perspective transforms obligation into joy. This is why it’s also so important to lay a good foundation in any ministry, beginning with vision planning, as having our focus on the right thing will aid us in a joyful and sustainable ministry!
Certainly, I encourage you to ask God regularly for joy in this work. It is, after all, his work we are participating in, and so boldly we can ask for the things that will sustain us in it. Writing in community will help in sustaining your joy for the work. Even when writing feels slow or cumbersome, the company of friends and joyful conversation around the table is a wonderful aid!
Building Habits That Last
I once heard that character is developed through repeated choices, meaning that the more we commit to a single action, the easier it will become. Consider adopting these simple habits that will ground your letter-writing before you even get started, and encourage the kind of personal growth and transformation we’ve been discussing:
- Pray before every writing session.
- Keep a notebook of names, important dates, or other notes that will help you when you are struggling to think of someone to write to or what to write to them about.
- Follow through on commitments.
- Write honestly rather than impressively.
- Celebrate small opportunities for encouragement.
- Review each letter before mailing it.
These habits may seem ordinary, but over time, you cannot help but be transformed by continuous acts of care and intention, no matter how small! Beyond even these intentional acts, anything done wholeheartedly in service to God pleases Him, and he will surely continue to equip and transform you, wherever the work goes!
Next Time:
The Biblical Foundation of Letter-Writing. What better way to continue reflecting on these themes of transformation and spiritual impact than diving into the greatest letter of love and care ever written: Scripture itself!
